Monday Matters! Weekly musings by Herky Cutler about leadership, and about life...
💬 Your People Don't Quit Jobs, They Quit You!
If you don’t know this already, buckle up — because this one might sting a little.
The #1 reason people leave organizations isn’t pay, perks, or workload.
It’s because of their boss.
Yes… that means you.
But here’s the twist: the top complaint employees have about their boss isn’t that they’re too demanding or set unrealistic goals.
It’s that their boss doesn’t listen.
They don’t feel heard. They don’t feel seen. They don’t feel like their ideas, feedback, or even their humanity matter.
And when leaders don’t listen, what people really hear is:
“I don’t care about you.”
And tell me — who wants to work for someone who doesn’t care?
👂 “But I DO Listen!” … Do You, Though?
I can’t tell you how many leaders I’ve worked with who refuse to believe this applies to them. They swear they listen.
But their people would disagree.
That’s what makes this issue so tricky — most leaders who struggle with listening don’t even know they’re the problem.
So how do you find out if your team thinks you’re a good listener?
Easy. Ask them.
If you think they won’t tell you the truth to your face, use an anonymous survey. Either way, get the feedback.
It’s the only way to grow.
🎸 Communication Isn’t a One-and-Done Skill
Here’s something that really frustrates me: leaders who refuse to take a communications course because they’ve “already done one.”
Listen, I’ve taken Introduction to Swing Guitar three times… and I still can’t play swing.
Why?
Because I don’t practice.
Communication — especially listening — is no different.
It’s not a box you check once and move on. It’s a lifelong practice.
So no, just because you took a course doesn’t mean you’re a good communicator.
🌱 Let’s Get Practical: 3 Tips to Become a Better Listener
I could talk your ear off about listening models like SOLERA (and if you don’t remember what that is — or don’t Google it — that might tell you something).
Instead, let’s cut to the chase.
Here are three simple, powerful tips to help you become the kind of leader people want to work for — not run from.
Tip #1: Be 100% Present
This one’s non-negotiable.
You can’t listen if your mind is juggling a dozen other things.
Think about how amazing it feels when someone gives you their undivided attention. Feels pretty rare these days, doesn’t it?
That’s why it’s so powerful.
If you struggle with staying present, try a grounding technique — something that brings you back to the moment.
Here’s a great resource to get started: Grounding Techniques PDF
And for the love of all things leadership:
-
Find a quiet space.
-
Remove distractions.
-
Turn off your phone.
That small act alone communicates, “You matter right now.”
Tip #2: Hold Space for Others
“Hold space” might sound a little fuzzy if you’ve never heard it before, but it’s one of the most human things you can do as a leader.
It means being fully there for someone — without judging, fixing, or interrupting.
Just being with them as they express whatever they need to share.
Here’s a short, powerful video that explains it beautifully:
What It Means to Hold Space
When you hold space, you create trust.
You make people feel safe.
And in that safety, people open up — and that’s where growth happens.
Tip #3: Keep Learning (Yes, Another Course!)
I know, I said this already. But I’m saying it again because it matters that much.
Listening is a skill. Actually, it’s a set of skills — and like any skill, you get better only through learning and practice.
So take a communication course. Then take another one.
And this time, practice what you learn — every day.
Because being a good listener won’t just make you a better leader.
It’ll make you a better human.
Your relationships will improve — with your team, your family, your friends, your community.
⚡ Here’s Your Challenge
Ask your staff if they think you’re a good listener.
If they say yes — awesome, keep it up.
If they say no — even better. Because now you know where to start.
The time, money, and energy you’ll save by keeping great people — and the trust you’ll build along the way — will be worth every ounce of effort.
Start listening like you mean it.
Because leadership starts with presence, compassion, and connection.
